By: Amber G.

I never found solace in stuff. For a long time, I thought I just didn’t belong anywhere. After living in seven states, I still looked around as if I was an alien who had lost its spaceship. The first Christmas I ever spent alone I found solace in giving anything I was not currently using away to the homeless people at the park. This included a brand new tent, food and other assorted items. I judged based on the value the things had to me when used. If I was not using it then why waste its usefulness on me? Why not just give this tent to someone who can use it now?! I found his transfer of utility to be extremely soothing and gave my existence that Christmas meaning and purpose.

This was an example of a holiday I spent depressed and found happiness in sharing the wealth of objects I had with those less fortunate in a spontaneous and organic way. I have also experienced the opposite: that I feel so grateful for the little that I have that I will give away almost anything if it will improve the quality of another’s life or even just make them very happy. I’ve struggled to understand why I get so much joy giving away my possessions, and in a highly materialistic culture, the only conclusion I could find was that I am a minimalist. I have very few attachments to material things and almost all my attachments to things are due to their usefulness in my life (my car, my bed, etc). I have a few things that are special to me because people I love gave them to me, including a few family heirlooms. 

Don’t get me wrong, I like stuff. I like shiny things. I also know that none of that truly matters and it’s all impermanent. Some people’s special things live on past the grave, in museums and homes around the world. However, most people are remembered by what they have said or created, the progress they may have helped achieve, or maybe even just a few anecdotes. I am a 33-year-old single white female living in a male-dominated, uber capitalistic society. I have never felt accepted in mainstream society. But, I look the part so I can fake it. Fake it til you make it right?! 

I always just thought (and was told) that I was different. When I was younger that was a bad thing. I was a weird little kid, a nerd dressed up in frilly frocks and giant glasses with one solid poofed out bang my mom created every morning with the giant curling iron. I went through a lot of childhood trauma at home and was bullied at school. I conformed through high school by being an AP student and varsity soccer player until my heart was broken for the first time. I secluded myself and dreadlocked my hair. I was a social outcast and often called a “dirty hippie” in rural Western North Carolina. That pain transformed me into the fearless and outgoing young adult I am today! Now it’s cool to be different, but what is cool?

You may be wondering, what do you mean “different”? I struggle with anxiety (both Generalized Anxiety Disorder and panic disorder), PTSD, OCD, ADD, and chronic pain. I am queer but have been so traumatized by men I’m afraid of any romantic involvement. I make friends easily, but I move a lot. I have skeletons in my closet and they aren’t cute either.

The good news is I think I may be finding my way. Through years of self-reflection, meditation, nightmares, and flashbacks I am beginning to see myself as an important agent of change in society. We are at a crucial crossroads in our history as humans. We can either make the drastic changes we need to ensure the survival of generations to come, or we can consume as fast as possible and let millions die. 

Today I realized that I no longer feel upset about being treated as an outcast nearly my entire life. I embrace my history because it has brought me to this point. The point at which I meet like-minded individuals from all walks of life who share similar ideals and who also aren’t obsessed with stuff! Wow! I’m not alone. And…being a minimalist is just a symptom of a larger change in my worldview.

Thank you, Bernie Sanders, for helping me realize that I’ve been left out of the conversation for a reason and now its time for me to stand up and say NO MORE! No more injustice, hunger, violence, or oppression. No more dehumanizing and shame. I might be a minimalist, but more importantly, I am a Democratic Socialist!