The Fear of Love

For most people, they might agree that death or spiders are what they’re most afraid of.

But mine? My biggest fears are to continue running back to the same thing that ruined my heart. Or that love is no longer love, and people just say they love one another just for the act of saying it. That all the memories are no more than just memories, and the kisses were just kisses.

Why is it so easy to be so consumed by poison to your heart? Knowing damn well that in the end, you will always end up back to where you started – broken and alone. They say love is the cure to your heart… is it really?

I am so afraid that love is dead and humans have lost their hearts. Afraid I’ve lost my passion for love and that I’ll never look at it the same anymore. I am so afraid of being alone with my thoughts and going through life without sharing my experiences with someone who’d appreciate them just as much as I do. I am afraid of letting someone in once more, only to be broken down and lose myself all over again.

Honestly, I am so afraid of letting go. Why? Because when you love someone, your love never fades – even when you say it has. The people you love will always be in your heart, that is a fact.

The comfort of knowing he’s just a call away or that I could trust him with my life or that I could just lay with his head under mine and all the problems in the world would vanish for that moment. How soft his eyes would be and how I know he holds the whole world within himself. How I know there’s more – there is always more to him – than what people think. To let go of him is like letting go of my heart. Why would I want to do that? But as I said, I am so scared to continue running back to something that ruins my heart.

What’s There to Be Afraid Of?

I say I am afraid that love is dead, I know it’s not, but it does kill. I now know why so many humans forgive and stay because they are afraid of the unknown. Because one person holds their heart, and leaving would be like killing a part of themselves. 

The truth is, you see, fear is just our own perception of events, people, etc. As humans, we have the power to control our fears. I created a fear of love inside my head because I let myself see love as a scary feeling. Do not let yourself make all these anxieties for no reason.

The more fears you create, the more likely you will isolate yourself from the world and see everything as a threat. Allow yourself to see the true beauty in this life and realize that we would never really be able to sort out the good without the bad. 

With all of this said, fears are only as bad as we make them. If I were to continue to dwell in these fears, then where would my life go? It would just be a continuous cycle of the same events repeating themselves. Nothing good happens staying in these comfort zones of ours. Really, your comfort zone should be the only thing that you allow to scare you.

Let Go of Fear

Therefore, do not dwell in your fears or your constant sadness or regrets. Embrace whatever your current situation is. Embrace all your flaws. Do not let your fears eat you alive, and if you do, you’re only killing yourself.

Remember, sometimes what we fear the most is what we most need to do. It is so easy to be caught up in these fears and hell; just writing about all of this makes me want to throw up but being honest with yourself gets you one step closer to demolishing all these fears inside your head. Keep in mind, not all good things in life come easy… or stay. 

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“A man is but the product of his thoughts; what he thinks, he becomes.”

Gandhi