When someone consistently and continually shows you who they are, believe them. When they show you they care wholeheartedly, know that you are loved. Sometimes our ability to comprehend love and the legitimacy of the love given to us stems from our ability or lack thereof to truly love ourselves. We question how someone could possibly love us when we find ourselves unlovable or unworthy of love.
When someone is making the effort everyday to show you that you are worth it, worth their time, worth their love, it really helps with understanding and improving your view of your self-worth and value as a person.
That is how I know unquestionably that I am loved by this wonderful, selfless person who would go to the ends of the earth to make me smile, even though I’m more than happy enough to be blessed by his. This man, who does so much for me, yet has a constant concern for whether he’s doing enough, concern for whether I’m happy enough or if I’m missing something I need, and concern for my mental and emotional well-being as well as my overall health and standing as a person. This man, who chooses me everyday, despite all my faults, my transgressions, shortcomings, and my mistakes. This man, who sees the best in me, the good that’s in me, and the things about me that make me special, that separate me from the rest of the world.
When someone treats you like that, it leaves little question about how genuine they are or about the love they have for you. And even though I being who I am, having my anxiety about relationships and periodically having to battle depression where I question my worth, still occasionally needing reassurance about my ability to be loved and my quirks overlooked, I know deep down that this man is committed to me and to staying at my side until the end of our days together.
I know this because he tells me frequently; that he wants to grow with me, grow old with me, and that he loves me, to infinity and beyond, times Pi, and squared – something we tell each other when expressing how profound our love is for each other. And I know that he is genuine because he has some of the same fears and anxiety that I get; fear that he’s not enough, or that he’s not able to be or worthy of being loved; fear that he doesn’t deserve my love, or that I will grow bored of him. And just as he always and will forever ensure me of where he stands, I will always be there besides him as we both support each other, and continue to understand each other as equals.
That’s how it should be in a relationship. Both working to be better for each other, to grow with one another, communicate, and understand each other.
So if you question where you stand with your partner, or question your self-worth, or your ability to be loved, whether it’s truly love that you are getting, I hope that my experience helps you to determine your idea of what love is within your own relationships; whether it’s realizing that the person who claims to love you truly doesn’t or recognizing the pureness of their love for you.
As an old friend once told me when I was going after love that wasn’t really there, I needed to give my love to the person that fights for it; not force it on someone or try to force it to come my way when it wasn’t meant to be. If it’s real, it will come naturally. And as soon as I stopped looking for love, love found me, held on, and never let go.
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