Dream Up Foundation: Elevating Those in Need
CW: Domestic Violence.
Domestic violence is a prevalent issue that can affect anyone, regardless of age, race, culture, sexual orientation, or gender. That’s why Rochelle Hodge, founder and visionary, began developing the Dream Up Foundation in 2017 as an online resource for domestic violence victims.
Also the owner of the local gourmet potato restaurant Twice Baked, Hodge shared how she survived domestic violence herself. From her experience, she felt inspired to create an organization that would help other people in similar situations.
“Leaving an abusive relationship back in 2002 helped me build my self-esteem and self-worth,” Hodge said. “After creating Twice Baked, I identified with other women who lacked that self-confidence. From that, I decided to move forward and found an organization that would open its doors to all victims of domestic violence, not just women and children.”
According to World Population Review, Nevada currently ranks fifth in states with the worst percentages of domestic violence, with 43.8% of violence occurring against women and 32.8% against men. Unfortunately, Nevada also holds the fifth-highest rape rate in the country and for many years ranked first for domestic violence fatalities and third in 2014.
This abuse epidemic means the need to address domestic violence is critical here in our own community.
Currently, the Dream Up Foundation is in the conceptual stage while Hodge works out the logistics of everything on top of running her restaurant. Nevertheless, she has big plans for the organization when it is ready to launch in the capacity she envisions it to be.
All Are Welcome at the Dream Up Foundation
Striving for inclusivity, Hodge intends for Dream Up to remove the barriers that some victims of domestic violence experience. This barrier involves the assumption of who’s considered a victim in these situations.
She shared that the most prominent issue related to addressing domestic violence is the assumption that the word “victim” only includes women and children.
“I was really in awe when people asked me why I wanted to include men in the program. So many people act insensitive to abused men and often make it about masculinity instead of basic human decency or bodily autonomy,” she explained. “I don’t want men to abuse women, and I don’t want women to abuse men. No one should be hitting or abusing anyone. Regardless of your relationship dynamic or how you identify as a person, there should be no double standards applied to any form of abuse.”
According to the National Library of Medicine, family and domestic violence affect an estimated 10 million people a year. As many as one in four women and one in nine men are victims of domestic violence. Moreover, domestic violence covers several types of abuse.
“Domestic and family violence includes a range of abuse, including economic, physical, sexual, emotional, and psychological, toward children, adults, and elders. Intimate partner violence includes stalking, sexual and physical violence, and psychological aggression by a current or former partner,” (NLM).
Hodge further expressed how no one should be putting their hands on anyone else in an abusive manner. Abuse isn’t always just physical; it can be mental and emotional, too.
“We shouldn’t be throwing hands or throwing words at others. Protecting mental health in a relationship is just as important as stopping any physical violence as well,” she said. “We need to inspire, encourage, and uplift one another. Violence is unacceptable no matter what.”
Taking the First Step
One of the main ways Hodge wants the Dream Up Foundation to assist people is by encouraging and helping them to help themselves. “I want to pour into them as they’ve never been before,” she said.
She explained that many victims of domestic violence end up returning to their abuser shortly after leaving them. The reasoning behind this varies depending on the person or the situation. This can include experiencing guilt or shame about leaving or financial hardship. In addition, when children are involved, it’s even harder to leave and stay away. Meaning that while the biggest step is leaving an abuser, the next big step is choosing to keep walking away.
“Everyone has their own process in these situations. Often in the first few days, people want to go back. When they lay in bed at night alone with their thoughts, that loneliness, guilt, and fear seeps in,” Hodge said. “I experienced those same feelings, but at the end of the day, I had to decide to get out of it and then continue to stick to that decision despite the feeling of wanting to go back.”
She explained that everything is ultimately up to the people who come to the program.
“We’re not going to be holding people there; they’re free to come and go as they please,” she said. “Unfortunately, they sometimes decide to return to their abuser, and that’s their decision. However, if they go back, there’s not much we can do about it outside of always offering a safe place for them to stay. Our doors will always be open to them.”
Resources to be Offered Through the Dream Up Foundation
Housing
Hodge wants to provide help by creating a secured tiny home community in an undisclosed location where people have a safe space to heal. She shared that the tiny home community set up by and behind Ferguson’s Downtown off Fremont Street inspired this idea.
“The late Tony Hsieh, the former Zappos CEO, would order catering from me to serve there,” she said. “I found the community to be stunning, and it gave me an idea to work towards with my organization’s concept.”
Hodge plans for the tiny community to house up to 10 people or families. That way, there’s a more personal, individualized experience for everyone, and so she isn’t spread too thin helping people.
Classes and More
The Dream Up Foundation will offer multiple learning resources to people within its program. This includes hobby classes, work placement, and other opportunities. All of which work towards helping build people’s self-esteem while healing from their abuse mentally and physically.
“I plan to have multiple different genres of professions taught by friends, family, and other partnerships to teach classes to the people at the safe house,” she said. “That way, from morning to night, people can take their minds off of things and help them get through their day. We want to provide them serenity, peace, and a quiet place to feel like how they normally should, not what they felt before.”
Hodge hopes to help survivors not feel the fear and pain they feel daily in an abusive situation through this process. Ultimately, she intends to help them successfully leave that situation, heal, and move forward with their lives stronger and free from abuse.
“After you lay down for the night, your mind starts racing, and it’s hard to quiet those thoughts,” she said. “We won’t sit with them 24 hours a day. They need time to sit with themselves and think about things. Sometimes that’s one of the hardest things to do after choosing to leave.”
Counseling
Perhaps most importantly, counseling services and therapy will be available to people staying in the safe house community.
In addition, counseling will be offered to abusers as well, should they wish to utilize it. This counseling is conducted off-site and separately between all parties involved to protect victims. Meaning the victim(s) and the abuser are nowhere near each other while attending counseling.
“Hurt people hurt people,” Hodge explained. “A lot of times, that abusive behavior is learned through generational trauma passed down. Abusers were often beaten as a child and/or watched a parent beat the other parent, and now they’re doing the same thing as an adult to their family. It doesn’t make it right, but it helps us understand the causes behind it and how to try to stop the cycle from continuing or being inherited by their children.”
Hodge clarified that the organization in no way condones abuse by offering to counsel abusers.
“It’s disgusting that someone would hurt another person, but we need to understand the factors involved and the reality of the situation,” she said. “Let’s find what’s missing or broken within you, address those underlying traumas, and work on healing those aspects. Especially if it’s a parent who abused a child, we want to work towards eventually keeping the family together without the abuse if at all possible. But, they have to want to get help first and commit to making the necessary changes to achieve that goal.”
Helping People Out of Violent Situations
Hodge explained that another resource Dream Up would offer is helping to escort people out of domestic violence situations.
“We will partner with the police and the hospitals, cps, and other counseling places,” she said. “That way, when an officer is called out and conducts their assessment, they can call us and ask if we help and if we have somewhere to take them.”
If able to assist, Hodge said that the foundation would go out to the call and safely escort the person(s) out of the abusive situation and bring them to a safe location or otherwise provide resources to the abuse victims.
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Hodge’s Experience Creating Dream Up
Hodge shared that one of the biggest challenges she faced was walking away from working on the organization’s development while focusing on opening her restaurant first. However, as Twice Baked grows, the organization will also grow in tandem over time.
“I feel awful because I’ve had to put things on pause,” she said. “Nevertheless, I wake up every day with a grateful spirit, and I stay consistent and persistent. Now that I’ve launched the restaurant, I can take some hats off to focus on Dream Up and push it the way I push Twice Baked.”
Hodge looks forward to making another one of her visions come true, just as she did with Twice Baked. And no matter what happens along the way, she is happy to be helping people however she can.
“If I interact with a thousand people and I change one life, then I accomplished something,” she said. “I want to help people know what it’s like to feel good and have self-worth and self-love for themselves and their children. That feeling is amazing, and I want to share it.”
Hodge also shared that she learned a lot from her experiences.
“I’ve learned not to make assumptions, avoid being impatient, not get upset about people’s lack of knowledge, and make sure I show the same respect to everyone I’d want to receive.”
She also shared some misconceptions people have about domestic violence, so educating people is essential to fighting this issue.
“It’s more than just the stigma or ignorance about men experiencing abuse, too,” she said. “It’s also people not understanding that domestic violence happens between women on women, men on men, and people in LGBTYQIA+ relationships. It also happens between other family members, not just people in romantic relationships or against their children.”
People also don’t recognize the cyclical trauma in children that can ultimately lead to abuse.
“It starts with parents or adults telling young boys not to cry or “don’t be a girl,” or otherwise are told not to express any negative emotions,” she said. “But these are human emotions, not something to gender or apply gender roles to. So we need to allow our children to feel and express these emotions. Otherwise, they grow up and bottle up their anger or sadness, then express it in worse ways that harms others. And that in itself is sad.”
#GetinMotion with the Dream Up Foundation
Hodge plans to use Twice Baked as a major platform to launch Dream Up Foundation from and be sustained by. Looking toward the future and preparing to launch the organization officially, Hodge is currently throwing a big event this month. In honor of Domestic Violence Month, all proceeds of the potatoes purchased during this event will benefit the organization’s work. People may offer to donate additional funds at the time of purchase if they want.
“Buy a potato and help support our development of the Dream Up Foundation,” she said. “All proceeds will benefit domestic violence survivors.” Hodge plans to run this event annually every October.
In the meantime, Hodge is preparing the website for Dream Up, which she expects to launch soon, and will start getting the word out about it. For now, you can help support the organization’s development by following them on Instagram and donating to their CashApp: $DreamUpInc. And although the organization hasn’t officially launched yet, Hodge is still active in helping the community and getting supplies to needy people.
“I collect and distribute hygiene products, work clothes for adults, and baby supplies. Once the organization launches, the need for supplies like these will increase,” she said. “If you’d love to be a part of Dream Up in some way or have time, money, clothes, or whatever else you can give back to help us fight against domestic violence, please reach out. Thank you to everyone for supporting us.”
Hodge is also looking for sponsorships and other partnerships to help develop and sustain the organization. To inquire about this, call (775) 285-7815 or email dreamuplv@gmail.com.
Lastly, one way the community can help with the overall issue of domestic violence is by talking about it and raising awareness.
“Everyone’s out here trying to stop domestic violence one household at a time. Spread the word about organizations that offer help and resources to survivors, like Safe Nest,” Hodge said. “And, don’t brush it under the rug if you or someone you know is experiencing abuse. That said, be careful about how you report domestic violence, especially on someone else’s behalf. Depending on how you go about it, it sometimes causes a worse, more dangerous situation for that person.”
