Grief

On April 15th, we honor College Student Grief Awareness Day. Grief, a word that holds such heavy and dark energy. Merriam-Webster defines it as “deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement” or “a cause of such suffering.”

However, there’s no true definition that can explain how grief actually makes a person feel. As humans, grief normally hits when least expected and hits in waves. People of all ages experience grief; however, being a college student and experiencing grief makes many students feel overwhelmed and stuck.

College Students Dealing with Grief

Grief affects everyone differently and in many different ways. Even before the pandemic, college students dealt with grief from various factors while keeping up on their studies. After the past year, students feel the effect of compounding grief while navigating through all the uncertainty and loss.

Several students at the College of Southern Nevada who’ve experienced grief resulting from the pandemic shared their stories of how they dealt with their grief.

Grief from the COVID-19 Shutdown

Among the many things causing grief, some feel it from the loss of a job. During the pandemic, many people have experienced this type of grief. CSN student Hassan Abdul experienced grief after losing his security job at Palace Station this past year due to the shutdown.

When asked how his grief felt, Abdul responded, “Well, honestly, at first I was shocked; the virus hit the world out of nowhere, and losing my job felt like the biggest slap in the face. As a college student, I live paycheck to paycheck, and losing my job was something I just could not afford.”

Abdul went on to say that unemployment only helped so much until it ran out for him, and he no longer received the assistance.

“This is where the anger began to form, and my depression followed,” he said.

Asked how his grief impacted him, Abdul explained that it not only hindered his job search, it stopped him from doing a lot of things.

“Although thousands of other people were in my position as well, I just couldn’t help but feel sorry for myself. I began to feel like a loser and felt hopeless,” he said. “I had never felt so low in my life, I began to sell furniture and ended up having to move back in with my mom, and that was my rock bottom. From then out, I accepted my situation and decided that if I didn’t get back up on my feet, I would really end up nowhere.”

Since then, Abdul said he realized that he needed to experience that grief; he said he would never have decided to push himself harder to get out of that situation without coming to terms with it.

Abdul’s story shows that even though grief can weigh you down, it’s also something that you need to go through to get the motivation to push yourself. His story shows most of the grief stages; shock, anger, depression, and acceptance.

Grief from Loneliness

College student Andrea Vasquez went into detail about the grief she experienced during the quarantine a year ago. For her, loneliness became the root of her grief.

“I’ve always been one to be around people constantly; I was never alone,” she said. “When quarantine hit, my friends and I really took the Coronavirus very seriously. So, trying to be as cautious as possible, I kept to myself and stayed home for most of the quarantine.”

Vasquez shared that the first few days weren’t bad, but as the weeks passed, she felt like she started going crazy. “Facetime calls weren’t enough for me; I missed human interaction,” she said.

When questioned what she meant by “starting to go crazy,” Vasquez stated, “After the first week and a half, I found myself crying at least once a day and feeling trapped in my own home. I mean, living alone and abiding by social distancing isn’t necessarily ideal for someone who is normally around people 24/7.

She went on to say that she fell into a deep depression and would get lost in her thoughts. “I almost believe that my depression was causing me to have depersonalization.”

In terms of her schoolwork, she responded, “I just didn’t do it. There were days where I would sit in front of my computer screen and end up just being in my head – I actually almost failed that semester.”

Vasquez’s story is an excellent example of how grief can negatively affect one’s schoolwork and responsibilities. It also shows how many different reasons, including loneliness, can cause grief.

Grief From Loss Resulting From COVID-19

Kamand Morardi, a student at College of Southern Nevada, recently lost her grandfather due to COVID – the root of her grief.

“The feeling that took over my body when I heard I had lost my grandfather has not left my body since. My grandfather has always been my rock and best friend. It’s been three months since losing him, and I have to admit, even when you feel like you’re healing from your loss, grief will always prove you wrong.”

Regarding how she manages her grief while dealing with school, Morardi said “As a college student, there are days where I just wanted to give up on school and work. There are many days where I cannot get up and focus, where all I have the urge to do is lay in bed and cry.”

“The grief is draining and somedays I feel as if it will never end.”

For Kamand Morardi, dealing with the grief of losing her grandfather while having the responsibility of being a college student can feel overwhelming and adds extra stress.

What We Can Do to Help College Student Grief

Whatever the cause, grief remains a very common experience among college students. If you know someone dealing with grief, the best way to help them is to just truly be there and be present for them. Grieving is a process and can last quite long; therefore, listening and understanding a person who’s grieving can actually go a long way. Everyone experiences grief differently, so don’t hold any expectations of when their grieving process will be over.

Researching grief also plays a huge factor in helping someone experiencing grief. Expanding your knowledge helps you to understand better what the person may be feeling and going through. There are many different ways to help people who are experiencing grief.

Las Vegas contains several different grief recovery support groups.

Visit https://www.griefshare.org/countries/us/states/nv/cities/las_vegas for more information on the locations of the weekly meetings.

Lastly, the College of Southern Nevada offers counseling for all students at all campuses. If you or another student you know would like to talk to a counselor, book an appointment online at https://www.csn.edu/caps or call your desired campus at the following numbers:

West Charleston Campus: (702) 651-5518
Henderson Campus: (702) 651-3099
North Las Vegas Campus: (702) 651-4099