A Coup is Happening, and I’m Planning a Festival?
I feel sick to my stomach today. I am angry and scared and disappointed. I’m crying as I write this, I am so upset and furious and disgusted. A coup is actively happening in our government, nothing is happening to stop it, and I’m sitting at home preparing for the next festival. I’m mentally preparing for my mom to have surgery, while mentally grappling with the absolute freefall collapse of our country as we speak. I don’t know what to do. Besides warning people about what’s happening, I don’t know how to help.
Musk and his “DOGE” team have literally broken into the Treasury Department, have stolen access to all our info (social security numbers, bank account info, etc.), and are downloading everything onto fucking external hard drives to supposedly put on Musk’s own private server or some insane shit. None of this is secure. This would never happen under “normal” circumstances, and we are so far beyond normal, we don’t even know what normal is any more.
This man literally walked into the Treasury, was initially denied access (BECAUSE HE HAS NO FUCKING SECURITY CLEARANCE), and then he forced the man who’s been in charge of the Treasury for decades to resign. Now he’s running around doing who knows what with our data and the government’s checkbook. This UNELECTED foreign billionaire is taking over our entire country, and we are still going to work.
I’m reading reports that his team (made up of six 19–25-year-olds who no one knows who the fuck they are, and they assuredly don’t have security clearance) are recoding security and payment codes for the Treasury and implementing AI coding into shit.
All our data is at risk, both civilian and government data. It will undoubtedly be exposed, stolen, and used maliciously. This is arguably the biggest data breach and attack on national security in this country’s history. Yet the news is barely covering it. And in some cases where they are, they’re EXCUSING IT. The “But her emails crowd” is radio silent or rationalizing an attack on national security. It’s vile and disgusting beyond words. It makes me want to throw up or stand in the street and scream.
I’m warning people to consider withdrawing money from their bank accounts if those accounts were used for their tax returns and to freeze their credit right now to protect themselves. I don’t know what else to do. I don’t even know if that will help anything at this point.
What Are We Even Doing?
People in Congress are *finally* speaking out against what’s happening, a couple of days late granted, but even then they seem to be doing the bare minimum. They’re tweeting their displeasure. They *voted* to subpoena Musk, and lost 19-20. Where is the backbone of this country? They’re wagging their fingers at what is happening and holding speeches. That’s the best they can do?
People are in the street protesting. People, CIVILIANS, showed up to the Treasury to try and block Musk’s goons from entering. A mass protest is happening outside the building. Citizens are doing more than Congress. I wish I could jump in my car and join them. Objectively, I should be doing just that. Subjectively, it’s not feasible with my circumstances at this moment in time and I am fighting the urge to hate myself for it. I want to fight for my country and fight fascism.
A Coup is Happening, and I Am at a Loss
A coup is happening, and I don’t know what else to do. A coup is happening, and I’m still working, I’m still preparing for a festival. A coup is happening but I still have to work. How do I tell my boss, “Sorry I can’t work the festival, I have to go help fight fascism?”
A coup is happening, My mom is supposed to have surgery very soon, now that she’s finished chemo. A coup is happening, but I still have to take care of my mom. Even if she would be understanding if I said, “Sorry, I have to drop everything and go fight fascism,” I cannot leave her right now. I can’t abandon her after all she’s gone through and we’re at the end of this part of the journey.
A coup is happening but everyone is still moving business as usual. I’m screaming at the top of my lungs yet I’m still working too. I’m a hypocrite. I’m still beholden to my responsibilities. There is never a convenient time for a coup to happen or the government to collapse, but fuck if this isn’t the MOST inconvenient time.
That’s a selfish sentiment I know. But I don’t know how else to describe this feeling. I am struggling to find more ways to help right now while juggling my responsibilities that I don’t see how I can put down while acknowledging that I will be forced to set them down if I don’t act. I feel crushed by the weight of it all. Would it help if I ran away from my responsibilities to protect my country? Or can I feasibly do both, and work, take care of my mom, AND fight back? Is that possible? Is it even helpful to just be writing about all this? Am I wasting my time right now writing instead of doing something else or does this count as helping? I’m losing my fucking mind.
I do my best to write about things happening and share awareness. I try to be involved with my community and help support it and protect it. I try to be a good coordinator and support the artists and creatives at the festival I help manage. I try to be a good daughter, friend, partner, and neighbor to those I love and those around me, and try to help despite my unending burnout that is slowly chipping away at my soul. I know we all have roles to play in this revolution we are living through right now, I just hope I am honoring the roles I currently have, and that I am not failing by not doing more to help. I hope that it is enough. I don’t know how much more I have left to give right now if it isn’t.
“I Wish It Need Not Have Happened”
Despite all my fear and unraveling, I am not giving up. I am still fighting. Because the alternative is to give up and not fight. And that is not an option. I may be sitting here writing this article write now, with the tears burning my eyes. But I’m not giving into that fear. I am not giving into fascism.
I am reminded of the quote from Lord of the Rings that we’ve all probably heard recently.
“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo. “So do I,” said Gandalf. “And so do all who live to see such times. But it is not for them to decide. All we have is to decide what to do with the time that is given us.”
I don’t get to decide that this isn’t an opportune time, or that I don’t want to participate in resisting what we are facing. Even if it’s not enough, I will give it my all. At the end of the day, I am not going quietly. I will fight to my dying breath for this country, this planet, and everything and everyone I love. I see no other option. There is no other option.
This shouldn’t be fucking happening. None of this should have gotten this far, let alone this fast. Our government was so poorly held together and our officials are so spineless that it fell apart this easily? It disgusts me beyond words. But here we are. It’s happening.
The question now is, are we just going to collectively stand by while fascism completely takes over? Or are we going to fucking fight?
What the Fuck Are We Going to Do?
What the fuck are we even doing, America? This is a hostile takeover. This is a fascist takeover. And our government is allowing it to happen.
This is the part where I usually try to encourage hope and action. But if I’m being honest, I am struggling with hope today. I cling to it like my life – our lives – depend on it, because it does right now. And if we don’t take action swiftly and soon, I fear that we will run out of time to act. There will always be a fight to be had and the need to resist, whatever does happen. But if we don’t do something substantial immediately, everything that we’re holding onto right now will crumble and disappear.
This is a 5-alarm fire. Our country is on fire. If we don’t put it out right now, all of this will burn to the ground, and us with it. So my hope is that everyone takes *some* kind of action right now, realizes the severity of this situation, and acts accordingly to the best of their ability. We all have to work and take care of our loved ones, but we have to do SOMETHING. This is the reality of where we are at:
If our elected officials are so incapable of doing anything about this, they’re useless to us, they don’t represent us, and they need to go. If there were no substantial safeguards in place to halt this fascist attack on our country in its tracks, then this system is broken beyond repair. If billionaires and their money could destroy these systems so swiftly and efficiently, they need their money seized and redistributed to fix what they broke. And, if our system of laws and our constitution were so weak that they would crumble so quickly and easily, then we need to dismantle and rebuild the entire fucking thing.
I’m not okay. You’re not okay. None of us are okay and none of this is okay. A coup is happening. WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE ALL GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?
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